"I think that Build the Life You Want and Still Have Time to Enjoy It! would make a great gift for someone that you know who is overwhelmed by having a lack of time. It is also a great gift to give to oneself."

Balancing Acts:  Beating Burn Out

5 Ways to Beat Burn Out For Good
Jim Claitor and Colleen Contreras

Burn Out:  The New Context and Our 24/7 Multi-Tasking Society
One of the keys to beating burn out is to understand that the context and environment in which we work has changed fundamentally. It used to be that if we had the right time management tools and were just disciplined enough we could do it all.  This is no longer the case.  People simply have more to do than time to do it causing us to live in a constant state of being overwhelmed and overcommitted.  We program our routines like machines always operating at a constant level of stress and adrenaline. 

When our calendars get full, we usually sacrifice the thing that we need most, that sustains us, whether it is exercise, time with loved ones, or just our moment of peace.  Sometimes we can become so consumed by work and “have to’s” that we lose the perspective of what a "normal" life looks like. We think "there is no other way" or "this is my reality." We start to believe that people don't need more than five or six hours of sleep a night. That airline peanuts constitute a meal. That being tired and overworked is part of our culture. Many people find themselves thinking in a circular pattern. This type of thinking may be experienced as a dizzying downward spiral.

Being overcommitted and overwhelmed, you may not realize that your personal and professional relationships are suffering. The long hours may be taking a toll on your health, or at least your waistline, and the quality of your work may not be what it could be if you were more balanced. You may be working harder, but the extra effort may not bring the results you expect. When caught up in this vicious cycle, you need to expand your view.

In order to beat burn out once and for all, we must understand how our emotions impact the decisions we make about our time.

For example, how often do you say yes to an assignment or opportunity when you really don’t have time to complete it?  What motivated you to say yes?  For many of us there is anxiety about being replaced or about being perceived as not a team player.  For others, there is guilt and fear about missing an opportunity or not working as hard as the others (independent of results). Still others struggle with martyrdom and the belief that we are the only ones who can get it done.   

If you feel you are building the life you want and just don't have time to enjoy it, you are not alone!

Beating Burn Out in 5 Quick Steps
1)  Remember that you are not alone
Things come at us very fast these days. We forget that there is much more to our lives than work. We end up not fully present and forget to negotiate time for things that are important to us. Worse, we assume that the people in our lives will understand. If you have more on your plate than time to do it, you are definitely not alone!

Reach out to a friend, supervisor, or mentor. 

Often when we are engaged in the cycle of burnout the first thing we lose is perspective.  By reaching out to those around us, we provide ourselves the opportunity to engage new and different perspectives that may help us to regain motivation or to make changes that will help us regain control of our commitments.

In interviews with managers many felt that they were at their best when they were given the opportunity to coach and advise staff.  They were most concerned when they felt staff came to them too late for them to be of help.  These managers saw it as their job to help their teams balance their workload so that they could not only stay productive but motivated. 

2) Take a Step Back and Short Circuit the Cycle
When we are in “machine-mode” it is hard to take a break and evaluate where we are and where we are going.  This causes burn out to sneak up on us.  More over, we tend to exhaust ourselves in “machine mode.”  When we are tired not only are we more likely to get sick, but we are more sensitive to negative comments which can lead to us feel unappreciated spurring the burnout cycle.

Breaks should actually be scheduled into your calendar.  They are most effective when they are taken outside of the office or work area.  For example, take your lunch break to actually eat lunch.

Another effective way to integrate breaks into your day is to use them to interrupt the stress reflex.  When you begin to feel anxiety about all you have to get done or about the enormity of a new assignment.  Stop.  Take a deep breath, hold it, repeat.  Go get a glass of water and come back to it.

3) Be honest with yourself about your time
At work or at home saying, “ok,” tends to be our first response because we are used to trying to do it all.  Not only does this eat up our personal time, it leaves us overwhelmed and can also breed resentment.  “Why am I always the one who has to do it?” It can also develop resentment in family members or friends who feel shorted on time with you.

The first critical step to regaining control of your personal time is to take a step back.  Simply pausing before allowing more to be added to your plate can end the cycle of overwork and confront the myth that we can do everything.  Evaluate:

• What do I already have on my plate?
• Do I WANT to do it?
• If I say, “yes,” to this, where will the time come from?
• Do I have feelings such as being overwhelmed, anxious or frantic?

Often times, identifying the underlying feelings helps us evaluate what our response should really be.

4) Celebrate the Small Wins
In the rush to the finish line, it is easy to move from victory to victory without taking a moment to celebrate how far we’ve come, what we’ve accomplished, the people who have supported us along the journey, and those we may have neglected while our focus was elsewhere.  A key to avoiding burnout is to revel in the small wins along the way. 

Evaluating the journey can be done daily, weekly, monthly, or annually but is critical to sustaining motivation and the support that keeps us on track.

5) Reset Expectations
Often, our personal time disappears because we have set the expectation that we are always available or we can do it all.  Regaining personal time requires us to slowly reset the expectation that others have for us and that we may have for ourselves. For example, pick a time each day to turn your cell phone off or set off duty hours at home.  You can start small by letting people know when you will be unavailable.  If your personal time is interrupted, ask the person if they would mind coming back later.  Eventually people, will adjust to the new expectation.

A participant in one of our workshops commented that she was burning out because she never had a break.  Her work spilled frequently into her weekends and created stress on her and her family.  She decided to make a change.  She informed co-workers that she was not available Friday after 7pm so they would need to bring things to her before then.  Any interruptions on the weekend were on an emergency basis only.  She was surprised to find that not only did she get more rest and quality time with her family, but when an emergency did interrupt her weekend people were appreciative and apologetic making her feel her contributions were valued.  Do it once and you are a hero—do it twice and it is an expectation.

Remember—You Matter so Be Good to Yourself!
Discipline in the little things provides the freedom for the important activities. Freedom is a choice critical to a sense of well-being. Understanding your nature and freeing your time is not intended to let you handle more projects or anything else that wishes to dominate your time. It is for you to have the right to choose. It is for you to have the time to take a step back and see yourself for who you are: greater than your chipped edges and blind spots. It is for making promises and keeping them. It is for maximizing your gifts and talents to all those important in your life and not to short anyone his or her due. It is also for thinking through those things that will maintain your freedom so you can continue to have the time to make good choices and negotiate solid relationships.

Loren Eiseley, an anthropologist and archeologist, wrote of a wise man who was walking on a beach after a storm. During the storm, a great number of starfish had been thrown up on the miles of beach and would most likely die there. He noticed that a young man was picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the sea, where they would have a chance to survive. The wise man asked the boy what difference it would make because so many had washed up on the beach. The boy picked one up and threw it back into the sea and said: "I made a difference to this one."

The hope we have is that you will be able to step back and gain new perspective on whatever consumes your time. Mood, thoughts, behavior, and your spirit definitely affect those around you and a wider circle of people than you can possibly measure or realize.

Building a life with time to enjoy it makes sense. In our times, when next week seems to come faster and faster, small changes now can bring about huge differences later. No matter what your style, you can feel good about yourself at work, have the ability to make time to be with the people you love, and do the things you have dreamed of doing.

Remember the time in your life belongs to you. Like the star thrower, we believe you make a difference so take a moment to be good to yourself.

Fast Facts:

• When employees in the UK were polled, the majority said they would rather work shorter hours than win the lottery!
• An ABCNEWS.com poll found that 26 percent say working too hard is a problem for them. That's double what it was when the poll was taken in 1965.
• Ninety-three percent agree that "Americans are too focused on working and making money and not enough on family and community … Almost as many (more than 8 in 10) say they would be more satisfied with life if they just had less stress."
• The annual cost of work time lost to stress in the US is $30 billion, in Canada $12 billion, and in the UK $5 billion.
• American statistics show that up to 9 out of 10 visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related problems.
• 40 percent of worker turnover is due to job stress. The cost of turnover is between $3,000 and $30,000 per employee, not including lost productivity.6
• Both the UN Labor Arm and the World Federation for Mental Health have issued warnings about the extreme individual and economic costs of keeping the current pace and the resulting stress levels.